"I open my window and pull my knees to my chest. Lighting a cigarette, I breathe in the smoke, feeling the warm air travel to my lungs.
As i let it out, i watch the light breeze capture the smoke mid air. Like a waltz, they dance around each other before disappearing. And I do it again and again until nothing is left of it.
I lay my tired body down, wrapping my arms around myself and closing my eyes.
The breeze is cold, goosebumps running up my body.
I think about my life, everything I've been through and this time, I don't stop the sobs that crawl up my throat, begging for release. It comes in waves, my pain. Coming and going.
Each thought is given its own time to process fully, not being shoved to the back of my mind.
I think about my mother, my father, and all the people who failed me.
As the sun begins to rise, I think about how the sky's colour is changing constantly. Colours bleeding into each other.
The sky changes every second of the day, yet the sun continues to rise. Even when it can't be seen, It continues to rise. I think about the clouds, how their tears water the earth, allowing nature to flourish. I think about the birds chirping outside and how they continue to fly.
I think about every person I have ever loved, every person to love me. I think about how each and every one of them has changed, some for the better, some for the worst.
and then I think about myself.
how I've changed, and how I've stayed the same.
my thoughts are accompanied by a waltz of smoke, and the tears that overcome me."
